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< Fan Fiction Archives ~ Crises II : Revenge of the Rubber Duckie - Chapter I |
| PsiGen |
 Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 4:39 pm |
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Location: UK
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Authors Notes
You asked for it - you got it. Apologies in advance. No rubber duckies were harmed during the making of this fanfic - and no not all rubber duckies will suddenly rise up against the human race. Probably.
Thanks go to Steff and Gelf
And remember folks - the rubber duckie MADE me do it!!!!
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"But, I'm not really all that dependent on it Adam... I can do without - but its my friend..." Whined Jesse Kilmartin, standing across from the rest of Mutant X in the lab. His puppy dog expression flicked from each team member, but all were holding firm.
"I cant have a team member who is dependant on a rubber duckie. It's just not... not.. good for our overall image!" Said Adam as calmly as possible, while simultaneously figuring out Jesse's trust account pin number.
"I am not dependent! I can take it or leave it!" Protested the New Mutant.
"Fine. Then you can leave it behind then, can't you. You are going. No buts, no whys and no begonias!" Said Adam, waggling his finger. 2 digits down, four to go...
"But I don't wanna go to Rubber Duckie Rehab!" He wailed.
"Tough. You. Are. Going. Two weeks - and then I want you back rubber duckie free." Said Adam, and turned back to the computer console that had DNA images on it. Adam had no idea what they all meant, but hey it made for a great screensaver, so what the hell.
"Okay, I'll go to stupid rehab. I just have one request." Said Jesse, hope shining in his eyes.
"Whats that man?" Asked Brennan, lounging whilst still looking gorgeously attractive to anybody watching. He was after all the stud of the group.
"Can I take my donald duck slippers?"
"NO!" Yelled everyone in the team.
Jesse winced, putting his hands over his ears.
"Okay, Okay! Jeez." And he went to pack a few things for his trip.
Jesse had been gone two days now, and all was quiet in Sanctuary. No missions had cropped up, and everyone was taking a breather - even Adam who had returned with a suspicious amount of cash with the explanation of it being in the lost and found, and a huge grin on his face.
All the team were sleeping, including Adam (having drunk a bottle of scotch) and nobody spared a second thought for the rubber duckie sitting forgotten on the lab shelf.
But the duckie had been witness to everything, and it was not at all happy with the thought of Jesse being taken off to rehab. It liked his friend Jesse. In fact Jesse was it's best friend in the whole world. So when it was certain that everybody was asleep, it chucked itself off the shelf and onto the lab floor breaking a few phials of some liquid or other.
As the night wore on the rubber duckie grew... and it grew... and then weilding the power of the cosmos (everyone knows rubber duckies are the most intelligent species in the universe, right? Well they are, so there) it began to take its revenge upon the team. And when it's work was done, it returned to its normal size and waited for the morning to come.
Shalimar woke first, as Adam had a hangover from the night before and was sleeping in, and stretched in her normal catlike graceful manner. She dressed in the skimpiest most sexiest morning outfit she could find and then sauntered to the mirror to marvel at her wondrous blonde (natural) locks of hair. What she saw however horrified her beyond belief.
Instead of the blonde tresses that curled so pleasingly, which during the course of the mission would somehow become straight and business like, her hair had turned to brunette. Not even a nice brunette. But that was the end of the Feral's troubles.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH ADAM!!! ADAM!!" Screamed Shalimar, rushing into Adam's bedroom.
Adam groaned, clutching his head and trying very hard not to focus.
"What the HELL.... Shalimar? What're you doing, I thought we agreed only on Tuesdays! Wait, it isnt Tuesday is it?" He wondered, his brain all fogged up and clumsy.
"ADAM ITS TERRIBLE! I CANT GO ON!" Sobbed the Feral, soaking Adam's sheets.
"What? Shal - what could it possibly be? Emma isnt dead again is she?" Gasped Adam, shocked at the state of the feral. Had she done something different with her hair?
"Adam.... ADAM... I have split ends!!!" Wailed Shalimar. |
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| PsiGen |
| Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2005 10:21 pm |
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Joined: 02 Oct 2004
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Location: UK
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Brennan Mulwray could hear Shalimar's screams from down the hallway.
His first immediate thought was if she was alright.
His second immediate thought was what was she doing in Adam's bedroom.
"If she's going in anybody's bedroom its gonna be mine!" Muttered the Elemental, grabbing a pair of pyjamas. Yes, Brennan was so vain he liked to sleep naked so he could look up in the mirrored ceiling and admire himself.
It started the day off so well.
Donning his best 'Im so worried yet looking cute and cuddly at the same time' expression and rushed into Adam's bedroom.
"Whats happened... oh my god!" He said eyes wide in shock. Gone was the blonde bimbo with expensive false eyelashes. In her place was a brunette. Worse a brunette with split ends!!!!
"I dont love you anymore Shalimar!" He said and raced back to his room to look at porno magazines and his mirrored ceilings.
Shalimar screamed and reached for the peroxide colourant!
As she rushed into the bathroom Adam pounded on the door.
"Shalimar!Shal! Don't do it! It's Just for Men!" He yelled.
"AAAHHHWWWWWWWLLLLLLL"
In his bedroom, Brennan stuffed a pillow over his head and tried to remember the blonde tresses.... little knowing that the next night was to be his turn.
Authors Note: You want more - reviews! |
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"I'm being facetious... theres really no call for it.." |
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| FlyerGirl26 |
| Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2005 4:41 am |
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Fighter
Joined: 10 Oct 2004
Posts: 514
Location: Not really sure. Maybe you could tell me?
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| *Laughs untill tears are streaming down face* Wow...that was great! MORE PLEASE! |
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The most wasted of days is one without laughter. |
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| AndyPsionicFeral |
| Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2005 4:24 pm |
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Mutant X Fanatic
Joined: 19 Oct 2004
Posts: 850
Location: NC, USA
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| Way to funny to read in school. I am laughing so loud that ppl are staring and thinking i forgot to take my medicins, which by the way I dont have to take. please write more. |
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| Lexa Pierce |
| Posted: Wed Feb 09, 2005 8:55 pm |
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MXL:OS Expert
Joined: 04 Oct 2004
Posts: 3537
Location: Somewhere, nowhere, everywhere
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| ROTFLMAO *busts a gut laughing* oh thats hilarious, cant even say how funny it is!! HAHAHAHAHHA |
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When we collide we loose ourselves. When we collide we break in two. And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love. It's a hard mistake. When we collide. We break. |
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| PsiGen |
| Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 7:51 pm |
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Snoozing Admin
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Shalimar hadnt come out of her room all day. She just stayed curled up on her bed with a paper bag over her head. She hadnt heeded Adam's warning about the Just for Men colourant and as a result her hair was now a very sickly shade of green.
Nobody had even tried to tell her it didnt look THAT bad. Because, lets face it, it did. In fact everytime Brennan thought of the slightest glimpse he had gotten of it, well he just burst into tears and had to console himself with a manicure.
Now as he prepared for bed, he admired that manicure, and slid beneath the sheets thinking to himself that at least nothing like that would ever happen to him.
Well, actually it could. And it did.
The rubber duckie wasnt finished yet. Waiting until the Elemental was fast asleep it did it's weird magicy swirly thingummy mumbo jumbo a second time, and withdrew to await the morning.
Morning came, and Brennan stretched his muscles, as was his wont.
And yelped as he pulled one of those muscle, wincing in pain - he happened to look up and then he did scream. His scream beat Shalimar's by at least 3 decibals and brought Adam running - Shalimar was still in her room with the paper bag over her head, mourning her lost looks and wondering whether skinheads were attractive.
"Brennan?!? What is it whats.. Oh my good god!" Exclaimed Adam.
'My cool, somebody's stolen my COOL!" Screamed Brennan. Indeed someone had.
Gone were the sleek slender muscled torso, the gleaming black head of hair that looked cute tousled, cool when slicked back. In it's place, was well, a dweeb.
Acne dotted the once perfect skin, his nails were ragged even though they'd been manicured the day before and his eyes were a little crossed giving people the impression he had down syndrome or something. His white teeth were now buck teeth and his hair well.. it looked liked someone with a Beatles fetish had styled it. To sum it up, Brennan.. was well... a dork.
OOC: Yup I got it from Red Dwarf, I am totally SHAMELESS. Ha! Remember you dont review and they stay that way!! MHWAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.. HA.. ha |
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| Lexa Pierce |
| Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 5:38 am |
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MXL:OS Expert
Joined: 04 Oct 2004
Posts: 3537
Location: Somewhere, nowhere, everywhere
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| *Busts two more guts laughing* ROTFLMAO OMG that was funny. I was laughing so loud and so much my dog came in and tried to see what was wrong she didnt get it lol. She only put her eyes flat on her head and wagged her tail at me lol |
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When we collide we loose ourselves. When we collide we break in two. And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love. It's a hard mistake. When we collide. We break. |
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| Jessegirl |
| Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 10:46 pm |
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Fighter
Joined: 03 Oct 2004
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Location: SOUTHERN......USA!!!!
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| FlyerGirl26 |
| Posted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 5:48 am |
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Fighter
Joined: 10 Oct 2004
Posts: 514
Location: Not really sure. Maybe you could tell me?
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| O.wow...thats was just too great for words...!! |
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| PsiGen |
| Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:15 pm |
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"Adam we have to do something!" Exclaimed Emma, as she observed Brennan looking for a flask and Shalimar wearing a brown paper bag over her head bumping into things because she forgot to cut eyeholes.
"Im working on it Emma!" Lied Adam - he was in fact trying very hard to solve the latest Chinese puzzle that had come with his magazine's subscription.
"Well, okay then! I'm going to skate around Sanctuary for no apparent reason - yell when you've found out something." Replied the Psionic and went to find her roller skates.
"Mmm k." Said Adam, knowing full well she wouldnt find them as he had since hidden them at Jesse's request from the last time she had taken to skating round Sanctuary in them.
The day passed, and the team settled down to another sleepless night. Oh okay - maybe not sleepless....
Emma was the next one on the Rubber Duckie's list, but as he entered the bedroom the lights turned on and Adam jumped out from behind the lightstand.
There wasnt any apparent reason as to WHY Adam was hiding behind the lightstand, it seemed to be a hobbie of his. Strangely enough he only ever did it in the girls' bedrooms, but anyway he jumped out and was very shocked to find a yellow rubber duckie the size of him coming into Emma's room. He had never known her to be that imaginative in the bedroom.... then it clicked! The rubber duckie was Jesse's Rubber Duckie!
"You're the one who turned Shalimar into a Brunette with split ends and a paper bag over her head and Brennan into a dork!" Accused Adam, pointing a finger.
"Did Not!" Tried the Duckie.
"Did Too" Retorted Adam.
"Did not..." Said the Duckie.
"So did too!" Said Adam.
"SNNNNNOOORREEE" Went Emma.
"Shut up Emma!" Said both Adam and the Duckie.
"SNOOOOOORRRREEE" Went Emma
"Shut the hell up!" Shouted Adam and the Duckie.
"SNOOOO-" Emma recieved a short poke to the side and turned over mercifully ending the snoring.
"So anyway... where were we?" Asked Adam, scratching his head.
"Ohh.. I had turned Shalimar into a Brunette with split ends and a paper bag over her head -"
"HAH! See I KNEW you did that!" Said Adam, grinning.
"SNNNNNOOORREEE!" Went Emma again.
Both Adam and the Rubber Duckie regarded the Psionic annoyed.
"You know you could just get the pillow - " Started the Duckie.
"Yes Yes. Dont think I havent thought about it. But then it wouldnt be boy girl boy girl. Plus Jesse kinda likes her." Said Adam, sighing.
"He does? Oh okay, well I'll leave her alone then." Replied the Rubber Duckie
"Good."
"I'll just do something to you instead."
"Oh crap. Well, he doesnt like her that much you know." Said Adam.
Last instalment coming soon. What will happen to Adam? Will Jesse ever return from rehab? Will Shalimar ever cut out holes in the paper bag? Will Emma ever stop snoring? Find out.... next time on REVENGE OF THE RUBBER DUCKIE!!! |
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| MarisolEckhart |
| Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 6:02 pm |
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Site Admin
Joined: 04 Oct 2004
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Location: new GSA underground
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This is all so too cute & too funny! I love the "Tuesdays only" comment! 
Great job, Psi! Keep it up! 
~~Lina  |
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| PsiGen |
| Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 8:41 pm |
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Snoozing Admin
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
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Location: UK
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The Rubber Duckie advanced menancingly on Adam, who backed up and tried unsuccessfully to hide once more behind the lamp stand.
"Prepare to get your just desserts!" Boomed the Rubber Duckie.
"I dont know what I'm supposed to have done!" Said Adam trying very hard to be invisible.
Where is Lexa when I actually want her! - oh wait shes not due for another two seasons - Im screwed thought Adam.
"Yes you are" Thought the Rubber Duckie.
"Hey, stop reading my mind you!" Said Adam, indignantly.
"SNOOOOORRREEE" Went Emma.
"For the love of christ will you shut the hell up Emma! Im trying to come up with a desperate last minute plan to save myself from an oversized rubber bathroom accessory!" Snapped Adam.
"Well. Did you?"
"Ah no." Said Adam.
"Pity." Said the Rubber Duckie and did its thing.
Morning came and with it a subdued dorky Brennan, a brunette/green haired Shalimar with split ends and a paper bag over her head, and a breezy Emma who for some reason had dreamed about Adam and lamp stands and bathroom accessories? Whatever. She shook her head and helped herself to cornflakes.
"Where's Adam this morning?" She asked around a mouthful of breakfast.
"Umm... said something about the tide being high and the chicks being low or something." Mumbled Shalimar trying to eat croissants successfully through the paper bag over her head.
Just then Adam came in.
"Hey dudes, whats shaking! The water is like so radical!" He enthused.
Emma looked up and did a double take, followed by Brennan and Shalimar.
"Oh my good god."
For Adam, usually dressed in drab black was now wearing a bermuda floral tshirt, and equally florrid and torrid shorts accompanied with a radical hair style which had to have gone out of fashion in the fifties or sixties and shades. Floppy sandals on his feet completed the ensemble. Adam... was a beach dude!
OOC: Many many thanks to Ana for this terrific idea of turning Adam into a beach dude - I was totally stuck!! |
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| bohemianbabe |
| Posted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 9:00 pm |
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Fighter
Joined: 15 Jun 2005
Posts: 439
Location: Southern USA Baby!
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wonderful and hilarious!
martana |
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Jesse: "You know you can tell a lot about a person's romantic style by the way they play games."
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la vie boheme!
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/737689 |
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