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| PsiGen |
 Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 4:31 pm |
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Snoozing Admin
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 9161
Location: UK
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Leadership can be such a burden sometimes. Mind you, having a Sanctuary full of Mutant X can be more difficult at times! Write an entry about Adam's feelings and emotions following certain episodes. His secret past with Lexa Pierce? Or his feelings following the Altered Ego episode.
Write a journal entry, but do it neatly. LOL. |
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"I'm being facetious... theres really no call for it.." |
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| PsiGen |
| Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 4:41 pm |
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Snoozing Admin
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 9161
Location: UK
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Leaving Genomex
Dear Journal,
What have I done to these poor people? My intention was to help the human race, not to change it into something else! I feel so totally in awe of what we've done, but an incredible guilt as to how we've accomplished our feat of genetics.
Mason believes as Paul does, we should sweep this under the carpet, try and make amends on the sly, but I know Mason will never stop at that. Not now.
The man who was once my best friend, is about to become my worst enemy - and the deal I have made with the Dominion - am I walking out of the frying pan and into the fire? Can I succeed in finding the way to stablising the Children of Genomex.
I dont know. But I must try.
I owe them that much. |
_________________
"I'm being facetious... theres really no call for it.." |
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| PsiGen |
| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 7:30 pm |
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Snoozing Admin
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 9161
Location: UK
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Shock of The New
Dear Journal,
The power of denial as Alison so succinctly put it.
Emma DeLauro, a telempath, is perfect for the team - the only problem being Emma herself.
The girl has no confidence or beliefs in her abilities, and refuses outright to discuss them with me or anyone else here at Sanctuary.
Reluctantly, I think I have no choice, but to put her into the Underground for her own safetly.
I am disappointed, I don't mind admitting, I had high hopes for her. But if she herself doesn't believe in New Mutants, then how can she possibly fit into our world here at Sanctuary? Fighting Mason Eckhart, liberating other New Mutants, whilst keeping everything from out of the public eye.
For once I doubt my judgement of character. Even Shalimar seems to semi agree - Jesse is drawing up her papers as I write.
It would have been nice to have her join Mutant X. |
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"I'm being facetious... theres really no call for it.." |
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| PsiGen |
| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 7:37 pm |
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Snoozing Admin
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 9161
Location: UK
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I scream the body electric
Dear Journal
Paul Breedlove is dead. I have no illusions as to who is responsible. Now all that I have feared would happen, will come to pass into reality.
Mason has nothing to stop him now, and with the governments secret backing is free to hunt down New Mutants and hold them in stasis.
I blame myself. How long before I must reveal that horrible truth to the team?
I don't know if I can ever tell them, athough I know it will one day come out.
Will they forgive me? Or will it rip the team apart.
Brennan Mulwray seems a bit of a wildcard, and I saw the sizing Shalimar gave him. The start of something perhaps? We shall see. Emma seems more comfortable with being a New Mutant now, hopefully over time and with help, she will develop those powers and integrate them into her everyday life.
Certainly with these two additions to the team, life just got a bit more exciting. And dangerous.
The GSA are out there. But now, so is Mutant X. |
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"I'm being facetious... theres really no call for it.." |
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| PsiGen |
| Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 7:52 pm |
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Snoozing Admin
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 9161
Location: UK
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Russian Roulette
Dear Journal,
What is it they say about betrayal?
It hurts more when it's someone close to you.
This betrayal certainly did, but it almost cost Brennan his life at the same time.
Jesse did really well on his covert mission, although there are some decisions that I didn't quite approve of!
My heart was in my mouth when it looked like they would actually shoot him.
Damn that Pushka technology!
Thanks to him we got the Pushka back in one piece and were able to save Brennan - Shalimar seemed really concerned at one point - I'm beginning to think there might be some sort of spark. Or perhaps I'm seeing too much with my head and not enough with my eyes as Emma once put it.
The plans for the Pushka are destroyed, I couldn't risk it falling into the wrong hands, and Daniel surprised me. Turning up and facing the Russian agents was an extremely risky and foolhardy thing to do. Not to mention stupid. But the fact that he did it at all, leads me to conclude that he might be worthy of our trust again in the future.
My team are home safe and sound for another day - Sanctuary always feels so quiet without them shouting around or sparring together. I can't imagine being without any of them. Perhaps I'm growing overly attached. But is that necessarily a bad thing.
I dont think so. |
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"I'm being facetious... theres really no call for it.." |
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| PsiGen |
| Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 2:21 pm |
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Snoozing Admin
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 9161
Location: UK
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Another mistake on my part, the only difference being that this one could have cost Shalimar her life.
I can't believe the innocent (okay maybe not so innocent) girl I used to know, could do what Nikki did. Those bastards at the Dominion didnt tell me they'd moved her on! Another niggling doubt to keep me awake at night... not that I get much sleep as it is.
I could feel Brennan's eyes boring into me this evening, he blames me entirely for this incident. He never trusted Nikki in the first place, and for once he was right. But who couldve guessed at what she'd been through? And why didnt she tell us outright when she came back?
She used to be able to confide in me, it pains me to think that she couldnt do so on this occassion.
I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for not checking up on her, I was too wrapped up in my own cause - how many more are out there? How many more Nikki's hurt and abandoned?
I think I'll start Emma on a followup system tomorrow. |
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"I'm being facetious... theres really no call for it.." |
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| PsiGen |
| Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:01 pm |
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Snoozing Admin
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 9161
Location: UK
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She's Come Undone
When I left Mutant X to their own devices, okay yes when I abandoned Mutant X, I knew on some level I'd never come back all the way. But in a way, I also knew that a part of me never left Sanctuary, never left the team alone.
And now here I come again, asking them to fight again for my cause - which is their cause - but this time I'm really not sure what their answer will be.
They certainly don't owe me anything personally, indeed I think Brennan could quite cheerfully leave me to it, but I don't think Shalimar will follow his lead. Come to think of it, I'm not entirely sure who is the leader of this group at the moment. Lexa, certainly for a while took charge under the Dominion, but now?
And even if they do say yes, there's only a slim chance we can win. And they most certainly will never trust me like they did in the beginning ever again.
But I deserve that. And I know it, and I'll accept it - being the leader sometimes means doing stuff like this, as Brennan himself found out the hard way.
Still, I have to wonder.
What will happen next? |
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"I'm being facetious... theres really no call for it.." |
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| PsiGen |
| Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2005 3:18 pm |
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Snoozing Admin
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 9161
Location: UK
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Well that went well. Actually they took it better then I thought they would, although inevitably I know where this will lead to. Where it will end.
Mutant X and I are going to have to part company, maybe forever, but I know they'll make it on their own. Simply because I know them
Theres too much at stake now, for me to consider individual feelings, and I have to know the truth. I have to know what I've done - to find out if everything I've stood for is a lie, and in turn everything I created without a purpose.
I know they'll hate me for this, for doing what I have to do. For not telling them everything, not sharing my thoughts - not sharing my secrets. It was the same with Lexa Pierce all those years ago. I only hope they won't rush into the arms of a dangerous enemy pretending to be a friend. Although if thats the case, what does that make me? I don't know if all this will have been worth it, I won't know until the very endgame. |
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"I'm being facetious... theres really no call for it.." |
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| PsiGen |
| Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:45 pm |
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Snoozing Admin
Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Posts: 9161
Location: UK
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The Assault
Im writing this quickly before I meet up with Shalimar and Brennan to go get Jesse and Lexa, in the chance that I might not be coming back from at all.
The Dominion seems to hold all the cards, and by doing as we're about to do, we're playing right into their hands.
My notes and documentation are all on file, in the safehouse number I've left in Shalimar's jacket - if I am killed Jesse or another geneticist should be able to at least continue the hunt for stabilisation of new mutant genes and save Lexa who is closest to her expiry date then the others.
As this is kind of my last testament, I write here my thoughts and admiration for the team I have come to regard as family. No strike that, I don't deserve them in that context, not after the lies and deciet. I know that Brennan will never forgive me my actions, and Shalimar will always be hurt by what I've had to do - but I have to say that if I had had to do it all again, I would've played dead again. To keep them safe.
Brennan, Shalimar, Emma, Jesse and Lexa hold my absolute admiration, respect and love - I have never met such courageous individuals in my life, and it has been an honour to lead them. I know that even without that leadership they would always find the right path. Will always find the right path. For even if I dont make it out, I know they will.
I have to leave it at that, now. Shalimar and Brennan are coming - and the Dominion aren't far behind. |
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"I'm being facetious... theres really no call for it.." |
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